I just wanted to say thank you to whoever created this page, and especially to those who replied to my posts about empaths repelling. I am understanding now why my energy may be unconsciously repelling others. Since realizing this, the past few days, I have had a transformation. I have fared SO much better around others, and my anxiety has disappeared! Probably not permanently, I know I still have a lot of work to do, but I am not looking to others for validation on who I am. I realize that not everyone is happy and they will treat others according to their own inner state. I should not let their emotions effect me, nor should I be trying to change their emotions and getting frustrated when I can't. It is not my responsibility how they feel, or to try and "fix" them. I have been doing this cycle for so long, and I thought I was helping! In reality, it is disrespectful to do this to others without their permission. I think can still try to cheer people up, but if it doesn't work, I know better than to keep trying and just let it go. I can set my boundaries and let it be theirs rather than taking the emotion into myself. It brings a whole new meaning to the saying "be and let be".
I am so grateful that I have come across this information. For the first time in my life, I feel as if I can put a stop to my self-destructive behaviors. My vibratory disconnect with others made me feel dependent on alcohol/drugs in order to communicate and connect socially. Every time I was around people (even some family/friends) I felt the need to get drunk. The cycle of loneliness, anxiety, fear of speaking my opinion, and low self esteem has been fueling my habit for the past 15 years. Now I see what is really going on.
I have a hard time relating to the conversations that people have. It sounds judgmental, but a lot of the stuff people talk about, I view as meaningless (sex, cars, clothes, TV shows, who is hot/who is not lol) , or sometimes even harmful (gossip/complaining). In order to participate, I have felt the need to be inebriated. People usually don't relate to what I am trying to talk about (universe, spirituality, animal cruelty, aliens, conspiracies, etc.) and have even gone so far as to ask me to not talk about certain things, or they will just avoid/ignore me altogether. It really upset me to feel shot down all the time, so I stopped speaking up, and then when I wanted to, I felt I needed alcohol to do so. This makes me wonder how many addicts are out there who are empaths that haven't yet had the opportunity to understand what is going on inside of them.
I think one of the hardest things for me was sensing that other were put off by me. I have wondered why my whole life. Now I understand. When people are hiding things and I say something to show them that I can tell, people (rightfully so) stay away. There is a reason they are hiding, and for them to think I can sense them masking something, is probably very disturbing. Now that I am aware, I can practice not exposing people, setting my own boundaries, and respecting theirs. I will probably have much better relationships, and have actually already started healing one of them! With my brother. :)
The past few nights I haven't felt a craving for alcohol. I no longer wish to numb or dumb down my senses.
I just want to send some gratitude to all you beautiful souls :) Thank you, thank you, thank you!
As soon as I got done writing this, I remembered a dream that I had last night all of a suddenly... Weird how that happens, I'm gonna go analyze my dream now!
Sincerely with love,