The hidden astral world series – The seeds of doubt

The follow series of blogs will contain some very disturbing and, for many, frightening information. I find myself in the unique situation of being able to pass on uncommon knowledge.  I’m not one to dramatize things, so when I say read at your own risk, then take note. For those who wish to gain a fuller understanding of the denizens of the astral worlds around us, then proceed by all means.

People don’t believe in dark beings and for those who should know better, they are pretty much ignored or dismissed.  There’s a lot that could be said on this subject, but that’s a topic for another time.

Ask any sceptic and they will happily tell you that anyone who believes in such things is either deluded or has psychological problems. It is fair to say, though, that I’ve noticed that sceptics tend to go for the easy targets: Things that are clearly fake.

I also notice that they ignore those genuine cases that can’t be easily explained away, but that’s okay because there are an abundance of idiots out there who seem to think it’s fine to fake paranormal activity, thus bringing the whole thing into question and disrepute.  Personally, I find it irritating and would not be surprised if it was a deliberate ploy to keep people in the dark. (And yes, I know that sounds like conspiracy theories which are just as annoying.)

My own experience tells me that they are real. I’ve dealt with dark astral beings on more occasions than I care to think of; both as antagonist and as ally.

And yes, you read that right. I have worked with them as well.

Now, before anyone gets up in arms about me working with the dark, encouraging evil, or trafficking with the devil (and so on), I should first point out that my function here is to keep and restore the balance, especially in the astral worlds.  Anyone who knows who I am will also know I’m considered ‘neutral’.

I don’t side with the light. I don’t side with the dark. I have no real agenda save making sure that people have what they need, and that when something is severely out of alignment, I will restore it.

I also have protection, wards, allies and tricks coming out of the ying yang, and so those who do decide to take me on often end up rethinking their options.

It also helps that most don’t believe me and dismiss me as someone who is either seeking attention or self-deluded. Both work for me. Those who do know me, though, are probably thinking that I should shut the hell up.

As mentioned, in my last entry, I was after proof that all this was real and not something we were making up.

It was not that I doubted the truth, but every day, something would be planting seeds of doubt in my mind and so every day, I was facing the same questions again. Is this real? Can it possibly be real?

No matter how much proof I got, the next day, those events seemed to have evaporated and I was left with the same, irritating doubts.

And yet, when the situation called for it, I would immediately slip into ‘phoenix’ mode and knew what I was doing was real and having real time results.  Yet, when it was over, I would go back to doubting.

I suspected something was tampering with me. It is, in fact, a type of attack that makes the person doubt their own experiences, and thus wastes valuable time and resources on doubt rather than action.

Thus, I needed something that was tamper proof.

Eventually I got it. In the form of a being called Omen.

Next: Who is Omen?

I am The Phoenix,  my autobiography, is now available on paperback at

Do not fear the darkness… thank it instead.

light and darkThere’s a parable by Neale Donald Walsch called The Little Soul and the Sun. There are two parts to this tale. In a nutshell, the story is about a soul who wanted to know who he was., but because all there was, was light, and all he was, was light, he could not do this.
It begins:

There once was a soul who knew itself to be the light. This was a new soul, and so, anxious for experience. “I am the light,” it said. “I am the light.” Yet all the knowing of it and all the saying of it could not substitute for the experience of it. And in the realm from which this soul emerged, there was nothing but the light. Every soul was grand, every soul was magnificent, and every soul shone with the brilliance of God’s awesome light. And so the little soul in question was as a candle in the sun. In the midst of the grandest light — of which it was a part — it could not see itself, nor experience itself as Who and What it Really Is.

And then goes on to explain that in order for the soul to know itself, it must separate itself from all that is and call upon the darkness so it may know its own light and experience who he or she really is.

But in order for that soul aspect to know itself as light, someone had to play the part of being the darkness.

In this story, the soul wished to experience forgiveness, but as there was no one to forgive; someone had to play that part.

Another soul offered: “I will come into your next physical lifetime and do something for you to forgive. I ask only one thing in return,”

“Anything! Anything!” the Little Soul cried.

“In the moment that I strike you and smite you, in the moment that I do the worst to you that you could ever imagine – in that self-same moment…remember Who I Really Am.”

“Oh, I won’t forget!” promised the Little Soul. “I will see you in the perfection with which I hold you now, and I will remember Who You Are, always.”

This story illustrates perfectly why we have darkness. Why there are demons, and why people attack and hurt us.

And while many people do indeed seem to understand that all we do is because we have created it on some level, and that is our free will in action, they seem to forget the very thing they need to remember.

The ones who are dark are dark because without them, we could not experience our own light.

Far too often, I see people condemning demons, so called evil, people who have wronged them and cursing them to Hell (or whatever place they feel is punishing enough. )

Far too often people insist that there is no help for those being and they are not worthy or their time, their healing, or even their love or blessings.

But is this really what we should be doing? So called negative beings don’t remember who they really are. Perhaps they have chosen a part where, by necessity, they cannot have any connection to the light. No matter what is done, they will always be of the dark because that is what is required. And they will remain so until they eventually return, with the rest, to source.

People seem to take great pride in condemning that which they consider to be dark. They simply love to hate and detest anything that doesn’t meet their own personal standards.

But condemning the dark is as useless as condemning the night. Everything is there for a reason. It wouldn’t exist otherwise.

I can’t help but wonder how horrible it would be to be hated by everyone, attacked and detested just for being.

Personally, I feel we should bless the darkness. Thank them for their gift and even their sacrifice. Those who have even experienced a little of what it’s like to not have light in your life should understand what it is like to be like them.

They may not remember who they are. They may never be able to in this realm, but that doesn’t mean we should forget, either.

And while you may not agree or condone their actions, always come from a place of love, rather than hate or fear.

Someone has to play the bad guy. Perhaps one day it may be you.

I’ve been putting this off for a while now….

Phoenix drawing.I’ve been putting off writing this blog entry for a while now. Not that there’s anything in it I’ve not posted elsewhere before, but it is one that I feel it’s time to push into the mainstream.

The reason why I hesitate (and even cringe) is because the subject matter is so unusual that it will cause a conflict with people’s perceived reality and believe systems.

Trust me when I say that it certainly did with mine.

So deep breath and here we go.

What if you were told that you were a mythical being?

What if you had the same message in your thoughts for most of your life?

Moment after moment? Hour after hour? Day after day? Year after year? Decade after decade?

No matter what you do, no matter what you try and no matter how much you protest, that message never stops… ever!

And over those decades, amazing things happen and people come in and out of your life to validate that what you are hearing is not just in your mind, but a very real thing.

Well, this is my life in a nutshell.

This has been going on since 1988.

I’ve spoken a lot about various incidences in my life: Those strange stories that defy rational explanation. I’ve discussed my guides and done plenty of channellings when I’m stuck for ideas or answers to topics I want to write about.

And in a way, I’m comfortable putting those out there, because to me, they make sense and others seem to get something from it.

I’ve also discussed how my guides keep on telling me messages over and over until I get what they mean and I  do get a lot of repeating messages which come and g over the years.

But there is one that doesn’t stop no matter what.

The message is: You are The Phoenix.

It doesn’t end there either. My guides keep on referring to me as Phoenix. On the rare occasion they’ll call me by my name, but generally, it’s Phoenix.

There was a period of time where events lead me to completely shunned anything phoenix, but it didn’t help. In fact, everything became stronger, and no matter what I did, I would see the word Phoenix in almost everything I did or would hear it mentioned somewhere.

What was more, people around me, once they started associated with me, said they saw the same thing, too.

You could argue that’s confirmation bias, but that doesn’t account for everything that happened, especially the two years where I was extremely anti-phoenix.

Most people have heard of what a phoenix is nowadays, but for those who do not know, a phoenix is a mythical bird that was said to live for many  years, and then build a pyre and consume itself flames, only to rise again more powerful and beautiful than before.

It was primarily associated with Ancient Egypt, though it was been noted in many other cultures under different names. The death and rebirth part appears to be the more endearing part of this myth: The rising from the ashes, in spite of all the odds.

And for a while, I wondered if that is what my guides were trying to tell me: That I had risen from the ashes.

But no, that wasn’t it at all. In fact, they were being quite literal.

Now, last time I looked, I looked like a human. Not a bird. (Though, as I recently blogged, I never really felt all that human.)  However, my guides assure me that what they are talking about is a representation of energy.

When I finally started to look into what was going on, a story began to unravel that surpassed anything my imagination could conjure up and over the course of the years, what I ended up with was an amazing, yet cohesive sequence of events that made the statement ‘You are the Phoenix’ look like common sense because it only got stranger from there.

Around 2011, I tried to write a brief summary of what happened and the people involved. It just didn’t work on the levels I was looking for. So I decided it was time to write a cohesive history of what happened and everything that led up to it happening.  It’s taken me around 2 years to finish it. It was made especially hard because new information was (and still is) coming in all the time, putting new perspectives on things.

The book is called I Am The Phoenix.

It is for sale for USD3.99 in Kindle format from Amazon and is written in the same style as The Empath Guidebook. (My free e-book.)

It’s will also be available to order as a paperback for USD9.99.

My intention is to provide a reasonable sample of this book on this blog, so people can get a taste for it, and decide if they want to hear the rest of the story, which, even if I do say so myself, is incredible.

Psychic attack series: Simple is powerful and it’s simply powerful.

simply powerfulAs mentioned, I’ve dealt with a few people recently that have complained about psychic attacks. It has screwed around with their lives, and effectively even made some consider suicide, just to avoid them.

By the way, this will not help. Energy hooks do not leave us just because we leave the physical body. They continue until those links are removed, which is why for those who can remember past lives, they find the same antagonists coming up time after time.

A psychic attack occurs at your weakest link. So, guilt, fear, anger, hate, and so on can be used to control and influence someone.

Bach Flower Remedies can be a very effective way of stopping attacks.  Mustard, Aspen, Walnut are generally good remedies to use, as well any anything that counters your weak points.

Mantra, prayers and invocations are also said to be useful. The ones I’ve been tend to be rather long winded, though. In the end, you’re more likely to focus on the words rather than the meaning.

If you want a mantra or prayer to be effective, keep it short and sweet. Make sure it you can comprehend it instantly and the words come without effort.

Here are a few suggestions for those who are under attack by either people in their lives or beings they perceive to be in the astral levels.

I am energized.

I take my power back.

I am in harmony.

I am abundance.

You have no power over me.

That last statement I got from the movie Labyrinth. While I can either take or leave that movie, I found those words very powerful.

The important thing with doing anything like this is consistency. In order to manifest the outcome, you need to keep on stating the same thing over and over.

Most people make an affirmation, and then contradict it almost in the next breath.

It’s all too easy to do. Words and thoughts often come unbidden to our mind that do not serve us.

Words such as: I’m so tired of things. What’s the point? I can’t be bothered. Nothing is ever going to change, and so forth.

It’s hard. It’s a challenge to instantly discard any thoughts that don’t fit the outcome you wish to have.

They are hard because that is how you are feeling right at that moment and you feel what you feel.

My suggestion is to acknowledge where you are at, bless it, let it go and use an affirmation that reflects the outcome you wish to see. It’s okay to feel those negative states of being and it’s not until you acknowledge where you are at that you can change where you are going.

One of the things one should be aware of when you start using such affirmations is that things will start to shift. Dramas may start to happen, people may act out of character and you may discover that things are not what they seem.

This can be often confusing, as you may not connect these events to your affirmations. But nothing can change unless the things that are creating your problem are revealed so you can not only deal with them, but take moves to make sure they can no longer affect you.

It may not always be pleasant, though. You may discover things that may make you feel that you wish you didn’t know.

Just remember, fear is our enemy here. Fear of being alone, of lack of resources, of not having a roof over our head.

You may fear that in order to be free and happy, you will have to change everything. And sometimes that is true. But change isn’t always bad. It’s new opportunities and growth.

Sometimes, though, you just need to be ready to move on… and that can take a while.

Remember, though, simple is extremely powerful and that makes you powerful.

Psychic attack series: Seeing is believing, but believing is also seeing.

germOver the years, I’ve come across many forms of psychic attacks. I’ve met many people who seem to be endearing them.

Of course, there are always those who will tell you psychic attacks aren’t real.  They label those who believe they are under such attacks are delusional or will tell you that such things simply do not exist.

Curiously enough, even those who are considered guru’s and have given us amazing knowledge will tell you the same thing.

At its purest level, you can indeed argue that we’re all one and that no one is attacking anyone.

However, that’s like saying that no one can kill or attack another because there is only really one of us in the room.

This is all fine and good, but we live in the realm of the relative, and not only are such things real, but they happen more frequently than you might suspect.

Not believing in it doesn’t make you immune to them.

As a friend of mine recently put it to me: It’s like saying you don’t believe in germs, therefore they can’t make you sick.

While we don’t have the technology to see psychic attacks, let’s remember that at one point, we didn’t have the technology to see germs either. People didn’t know of them. They still got sick, though. They still got infections, diseases, viruses and died from them.

To say that if they just didn’t acknowledge such things then they would be been fine is just nonsense. Would you tell a doctor to not wash their hands just because you don’t believe germs exist? You’ve probably never seen one, save in a photo. Those with the right equipment can certainly see them. It’s very much like psychics who can see shadow people. They have the right equipment, so to speak.

Knowing germs exist and can affect us is important.  We can take steps to protect ourselves. We can work on our immune systems, stress levels, watch what we touch, eat and what can make us very sick. We can become immunized to certain things and generally live a healthier lifestyle.

Of course, you can say I’m making a faulty analogy here, because you can actually prove germs exist, but my view is that just because we can’t see things on another level, it doesn’t mean they are not there.

There are certainly spirits about. More than you would ever imagine and on many different levels that are just too fine for the human eye to perceive.  It is a fact that we do have a limited spectrum of what we can sense. Imagine if we had the abilities of say, a dog. Their sense of smell is mind boggling. Unless you experience it, though, you can’t really know what it’s like, but just imagine if you could track things just by smells? Imagine if you could hear things that are way too high for the normal ear to hear.

Imagine if you could see things that are way out of our spectrum?

From my own personal experience, I can tell you that psychic attacks do exist. They can come from either people or astral beings. I’ve had both happen to me and on a frequent basis.

It did not matter if I believed in them or not. I still experienced the effects of them.

In fact, there was a period of some years where I believed I was immune to them and that they really didn’t exist. Eventually, though, I had to admit that something was going on, and whether I acknowledge it was real or not, the proof was definitely there.

I’ve also dealt with too many people who came to me because they were being attacked. Believe me, there is nothing more irritating than being told it’s all in your mind and if you ignore it will go away. It doesn’t.  At least not on its own.

I’ve touched on psychic attacks a number of times on my website, blog and the Empath Guidebook, so I don’t want to go into it again.

What I do want to do is talk about one way of stopping them.

Next: Simple affirmations 

Empath Guidebook – Now fully edited.

Empath cover version 1Just a quick note.

The Empath Guidebook (my free e-book) has been fully edited by the amazing Julianne Victoria.

My heartfelt thanks for doing what is a tedious and meticulous job.  I’m sure those who read the edit version will certainly thank you, too!

It’s rare to find someone so selflessly giving of their abilities and time.

I really do recommend visiting her sites (all listed below). There is a lot to this lady and she has a lot to share.

Through the Peacock’s Eyes, Insights for Spiritual Living

On the Streets of San Francisco, Photography



Haiku By Ku, A Poetic Pup’s Poem

Swami Zoe’s Yoga and Zen

Thank you for the gift you have given to the Empath Community.

This guidebook is ever evolving, so from time to time, there should be some major updates. Watch this space.

Guest blog: Nattie from “Love Light Learn” on Balancing your chakras.


This picture depicts the seven major Chakras w...

From time to time, I get asked the question on how to open or close your chakras. I know the basics behind it but I’ve never had the fuller understanding or energy to explain it in full.

So, I’m taking the lazy way out and I’ve asked Nattie from Love Light Learn  to help out.

Thank you Nattie for agreeing to do a guest post.

Hi to all,

My name is Nattie and Gary has asked me to do a guest blog on closing and controlling your chakras. I would like to thank Gary very much for this opportunity to guest post on such an amazing blog.


It doesn’t really matter whether you have become empathic (or developed other abilities) because you have consciously started an awakening or because somehow your brow chakra opened up with out your conscious help. At first we are all a bit the same. Lost. It can be great to discover an ability with-in yourself that is not commonly used. That is until it starts to intrude rudely on your life and leaves you feeling exposed to things you feel are out of your control.


Your brow, or third eye chakra may open as a defense mechanism because you need it to and this may become permanent, or it may last for as long as you need it and then close by itself. If activated as a child it will usually stay open but if activated for the first time an adult, it will very likely go back to it’s default state and re-close.

Now maybe you opened it on purpose with many of the helpful articles written on the subject of opening. But I must admit, that until recently I was just as guilty of the common problem of leaving the closing and controlling part out. It’s because we don’t know.

Being empathic especially can be a very intrusive ability if you are walking around ‘on’ all the time. Any ability will eventually wear you out if you can’t turn it off. The effects that follow can lead to depression and anxiety. The good news is you can turn them off.

Switching Off

Now when I say turn them off I do mean your chakras but I don’t mean off. Your Chakras are always on even if they work only in a limited capacity. But when you turn them off you are stopping them from receiving outside energies. It is in fact possible to keep them on and just limit what energy is allowed to come through.

We will work on control in a minute. First, closing. If you opened up consciously you will be familiar with the visualizations used to do so. Closing involves visualizing the opposite. Choose an appropriate representation of your chakras e.g. a light or flower are common.

Now opening the flower or turning on the light will turn them on, closing the flower or switching off the light turns them off. I bring my visualizations down to a pinpoint of light to remind me they are always on. Just like with switching on you want to start at the top or bottom and visualize them one at a time turning off.

All or Nothing

It is important that you deal with all your chakras, one at a time. Whilst our connection with others and the source of most of our abilities comes from that third eye chakra, each ability may use other chakras in the process. Channeling also uses the crown chakra (Crown = I understand), I will take an educated guess in saying that the corresponding chakra for empathy will be your Sacral chakra. (Sacral = I feel.) This is is the orange Chakra just below your navel and is also the source of your ‘gut’ feelings.

If just one of your main chakras is blocked or inhibited, the energy flow will be obstructed and the imbalance will result in too much of something and/or not enough of another. You can help to repair them by drawing white light into them from the earth upwards and/or the universe downwards. See what feels right for you.


Another way to tell what chakras need help and another way to help them is through colors. For years when my brow chakra was shut I was drawn to my favorite color at the time which was indigo. Usually a bright form of dark blue for me. Surrounding yourself with the color of the chakra you would like to heal or open will help.  Wear the color and put it around your office and home until you feel your chakra is healed then remove it. Too much will have the opposite effect, opening the chakra and making it hard to shut down, overloading it.


Usually when you are protecting yourself you will surround your self in a bubble of white light. This will help on a larger scale but you can do this to each of your chakras too. Either surround it in a bubble of white light or imagine it is aglow with white light. Then just like you would specify that only positive energy may come through your bubble, you do the same for the chakra. One at a time protect them and specify that only positive energy may enter this chakra as it is protected by light.

Once you have done this you can also direct where you would like to receive your energy from. This is done with thought. You concentrate on the source of the energy you want to receive as in the person or entity. When you are done close them again. The more you do this the better you will become and the more effective it will be. Don’t give up if it is hard or only minimally effective at first.


When you first start to use visualizations, they will be weak and hard to project. The more you do it the easier it will become, the more vivid they will be and the more effective and powerful they will be in the non-physical realm. Any visualizations you use will help to develop this ability and you will find it invaluable in work with energy and the non-physical. Good luck and have fun.

Thanks again

Personal experiences: Part 5 – Possessed or Q and A with the Devil.

Statesboro High School

This is a six part story about a paranormal event that occurred in January 1980. As usual, it’s told without any embellishments and according to a document that I had written after the event.

The next morning as I was going down the stairs, I felt that the chain that the cross was on grow hot. It was an odd sensation. It was a definite heat, though I guess I could have been imagining it, too.

Shawn told me that every time he saw the cross, he had the urge to get me to take it off. Indeed, he insisted that I should take it off. Every time I went down the stairs, I felt the chain get heavy, and the urge to take it off come over me. I nearly once did so, but thought better of it.

A bit later on, back up the stairs, I was walking with Shawn towards the doors on the other side of the room when they opened for him. We walked through and they closed behind us. I asked how he did that, as I had felt no wind. He said, he didn’t know. He was just thinking that wouldn’t it be good if the doors opened and they did.

The next day, the temptation to take the cross off was so strong that I actually felt uncomfortable wearing it. The night, Shawn was trying to make me take it off, once again, and I was refusing as usual when he suddenly doubled up in what he said was an agonizing pain. The thought that I should give the cross to him entered my mind. I asked him if he wanted me to give it to him, and he said, yes. I almost did, but decided against it. With that choice, the pain abruptly stopped. I asked him if he would have worn it and he said: No, moods change, and he wouldn’t have given it back either.

Things become quiet after that for a short while. As I wore the cross, I felt protected. The camp went on and was coming to the end. It was only two weeks, but it felt like a very long two weeks.

On the last day, we were all clearing up after ourselves, and I found myself, ironically, being told to sweep the stairs with Shawn. We discussed what had happened, and I asked him about the voice he heard. I was curious about if I could talk to it and asked some questions. Shawn agreed.

The first thing I asked was if Robert Rice died there, and the answer was he didn’t, nor were his ashes upstairs.

I then asked if this was the Devil. The answer was yes. Had he tried to get me before? Yes, he had and was trying to get me now. I asked, why me? It answered that it had failed before and it didn’t like failing and it was trying to possess me. I asked why me and I was told that I was more vulnerable than other people and I expected him to get me. It also said it had posed as my subconscious mind, pretending to be someone who was helpful. I asked if it was after anybody else at the camp, but it said it only me.

I then asked about the pressure we had felt in the stairs. What was it? He said it was trying to frighten us, and it was a stupid thing to have had the séance. I asked what it was trying to do to Shawn when he said the Lords Prayer backwards. The answer was that It was trying to possess him.

I asked if he had succeeded, but he said, no because he hadn’t done it long enough. He also said that he had possessed many people, but they didn’t know it. They just thought they had a bad temper.

I asked if I was interfering with him and if I was a danger to him. He said yes and I was. It told me that the cross gave me some protection, and so did asking for God’s help, but an imaginary cross was not powerful enough and I couldn’t ask for God’s help all the time and I was most vulnerable when I was asleep. It had decided to use the staircase because I had to use it to get to the bathroom. It had taken over Shawn because he was my friend and was using it as a stepping stone to get to me. It also said that it had blown out the lights.

My mistake had been leaving Shawn on the stairway at that time and telling him about my experiences, which left him open to such things.

I asked a few more questions, but all Shawn was now getting was ‘stop it your bastard!’ I stopped and Shawn came ‘back’. He told me that at first he had let me talk to this thing, but after a few questions, he had lost control and it sounded like two people have a conversation. He also couldn’t remember any of what had been said, something I later found out that this was typical of a channel. He also said that sometimes he was reluctant to answer my questions because he felt he was lying.

With what I know now, many of those answers actually make no sense, nor do they ring true.  My feelings are that it was certainly not the Devil, imagined or otherwise. Also, if Shawn felt he was lying, and he didn’t say which questions were lies, then there’s no reason any of it could have been the truth.

I seriously doubt that any of it was true. If Shawn felt it was a lie, then there is no reason to tell me what was really going on, except to tell me what I thought I wanted to hear, and what it wanted me to hear.

This, of course, does beg the question if any channel you get is true.

I know that when I’m writing documents with the aid of my guide, some things flow amazingly well, and I can sense what feels like a connection, or a corridor. Other things don’t however, and I get a sense of anxiety or frustration and I end up erasing what has been written because I’m clearly not either in the space for writing, or the information I need just isn’t available to me as yet.

Sometimes there is also a tendency to write what you think is true, rather than what comes to you, assuming anything comes at all. It’s a trap that’s easy to fall into, and interestingly enough, those are the things that I find out more later on.

In regards to the entity at the camp, I really haven’t gotten any answers I’m happy with yet. I’ve channelled that it was an opportunistic entity who knew who I was, but… that doesn’t feel completely right. I feel I’m still missing something, even 33 years on.

For me, near enough isn’t good enough, but sometimes it’s all I have at the time.

Next: Afterwards


Personal experiences: Part 4 – The Lord’s Prayer or Reyarp s’droL ehT

Nokia N8 - Haunted...

This is a six part story about a paranormal event that occurred in January 1980. As usual, it’s told without any embellishments and according to a document that I had written after the event.

It was later that day, after Shawn claimed he suddenly felt weak and dizzy on the staircase, that I heard a story that he and another friend of his were in the dorm.

Shawn had a tennis ball and racket in his hands and he claimed to have heard a voice tell him to throw the ball at his friend, Terry. He hesitated for a moment, and then served the ball right at him with all his might. Fortunately, it just missed him. He excused his actions by claiming that he couldn’t control himself. Terry, himself, was stunned.

At dinner that evening, he was looking flushed and his hands were shaking. Whenever he looked at him, he would just shake his head. During practice, I noticed that he was looking at everyone in a strange way, and his face was white. Many there also noticed this, and made comments about it. Even for Shawn, this was odd behaviour.

After dinner, he came up to me and said there was going to be another séance that night and I had to come to it. I knew this would be a bad idea, so I told him no.

I believed in demons and possession back then, and I was now starting to feel like I was in over my head.

So I discussed what was happening with, I believe two of the boys, David and Terry and David (who was a student there) suggested we should go visit one of the resident Christian brothers in the hope that they could help or at least tell us what to do. 

So, during a break, we went to visit one of them, and ended up having a long talk with him. To his credit, he didn’t just disbelieve us, and let us tell our story. In the end, he suggested that it could be some sort of mental telepathy and said that you should assume that there are no evil spirits around until you proved that there were.

It does sound strange that he pretty much dismissed any spirits but spoke about telepathy in the same breath. In any case, he did give some advise that we were able to use.

He said that if I really felt the need for protection, I could make an imaginary cross and call for God’s help by saying The Lord’s Prayer. So we decided to do  just that.

We went to the stairs and we all felt the presence  there, though it was not as strong as it had previously been.

We made the imaginary cross, said The Lord’s Prayer together and asked for help.  The presence then left and did not return until the final days of the camp, only then very weakly.

You would have thought this would be the end of it all, and really, it should have been, but you’d be wrong there.

The next day, we went swimming to a local pool as it was a hot summer’s day. Everyone was throwing a tennis ball around to each other. Shawn got hold of it and threw it right at me. He managed to hit the side of my face, though, being a tennis ball, it didn’t actually do any damage. I was still shocked, though. Later he told me that he didn’t want to throw it at me, and that he couldn’t even throw straight. He said that every time he looked at me, he would hear a voice saying ‘get him!’ and he was being instructed to stay close to me.

Later on, he told me that he was going to have the séance that night, and that I must come to it. I said I wouldn’t, but he seemed confident that I would come.

Then  someone mentioned that if you said The Lord’s Prayer backwards while looking in a mirror, you would see the Devil.  Well, this was too much for Shawn to resist doing, and so, before he planned to have the séance, he took a group of people down to the shower area and he had someone read the words while he repeated them back while looking in the mirror.

I stayed away, no longer wishing to be part of it. If I had gone, I might have witnessed what many others said they saw happen.  He said the first five words, then his cheeks went white and his eyelids went red, taking on a glow. I did note, however, that when everyone came up the stairs, they all had bloodshot eyes, and looked exhausted.

However, once, apparently wasn’t enough for they went downstairs and did it a second time, and this time, he had his friend, Terry, join him.

Shawn told me that he saw his hair, which was blond, go dark and his eyes appeared to glow and Terry said that a shadow passed over his face.  They both claimed to have stuttered one a word at one point, and then went into a trance. They said they could hear themselves speaking, but they couldn’t feel themselves doing it.

Interestingly enough, Shawn chose to not have the séance. He said he felt it was too dangerous.

That night, we were once again swarmed by the flying black beetles, entering into the dorm in plague proportions.

Interestingly enough, all the bugs fell on Shawn and Terry’s bed, but missed mine. They even bit Terry three times and they were also crawling towards Shawn and biting him. These bugs do not bite to the best of my knowledge.

A voice in my mind said: They won’t get you because you didn’t attend the Lord’s Prayer in the mirror business.

This time the bugs were also swarming in the shower area where they had said the prayer and soon there was a carpet of crunchy black beetles lying dead on the floor.

At that point, I found that one of the teens named Glenn had a cross necklace so I asked if I could borrow it. He agreed. Back in those days, I still believed in the Devil, and that was what I was starting to fear we were dealing with.  I hoped the cross would help protect me. 

Well, fear would be too strong a word, really. I can’t say I ever was scared or fearful. I was continually fascinated, though.

The bugs kept on crawling toward Shawn, so I decided to give the cross to him to see if it would help. The bugs stopped crawling towards him and attacking him.

Shawn told me he was hearing a voice saying that it was going to get me. I denied that it would but he insisted that it would.

In the morning, he took off the cross and said he didn’t need it any more. When it touched me, I felt a jolt, as though something had left me. I put it back on and it as though it did give me some protection. Indeed it was a quiet day and I hoped that whatever it was that was happening was over.

Once again, the timing of events is interesting. While I don’t believe in a Biblical Devil, I have seen evidence to suggest that there are demon type entities out there and most certainly, doing something like what they did in the mirror was just foolhardy.

Next: Q&A with the devil!

Personal experiences: Part 3– The painting or painted faces filled with rage.

Image-1 (1)This is a six part story about a paranormal event that occurred in January 1980. As usual, it’s told without any embellishments and according to a document that I had written after the event.

As mentioned the presence of the staircase had vanished one morning, and Shawn and I were there messing around, trying to work out why. Rather foolishly, I might add, as we had no clue what we were doing. I guess we were feeling disappointed that it had gone as it had been rather exciting.

The painting of the red face was hung between the middle landing, and I honestly did not like it. It made me feel uneasy. We looked at the it and I suddenly decided I didn’t like it at all. I felt it would be better if I went and turned it around. There was no logical reason why I thought that would be worth doing, but at least I knew I wouldn’t have to look at it. However, Shawn decided that it needed to be turned around the correct way. He might have just being contrary for the sake of it, so I asked him why had he turned it back over. Did he like it?

He said, no, it just needed to be up the right way. He had to put it like that. I once again went to turn it over but he held me back so I left it along. In hindsight, maybe I should have just removed it when he wasn’t looking. On the other hand, I doubt it would have changed anything.

Between band practices, Shawn became more and more drawn to the stairs. He would ask me to come along. Normally I would, but after a few more times, I started to feel it was time to let this thing go and I told him no. I wasn’t sure what was really going on, but part of me was now saying: this is enough.

But Shawn said he felt he had to go there. He indicated he was compelled to so do, and when I asked if he could resist the urge, he couldn’t or didn’t want to and went through the doors.

I must admit, I, too, felt something drawing me there. Not sure if it was curiosity, or something more. There was one moment where I was alone in the dorm, and I suddenly felt something pulling at me. I could have resisted, but I didn’t. Part of me was curious as to what was happening.  Truth was, I was fascinated with the whole thing,  and wondered how true it was, and how far things might go. What is something tangible manifested itself. That would be a story worth telling others. Even though those were my motivations, I had not really defined them at the point of time. All I knew was that I was feeling compelled, and I was going to play the game. 

So, I got up from the bed, and slowly, almost like I was in a trance like state, made my way towards the doors. I could have snapped out of it at any time, but I was choosing not to. 

I was about to enter the staircase, when someone walked in from behind and broke the spell. The feeling suddenly left and I turned away, and went back to my bed. Five minutes later, Shawn walked in and asked if I wanted to go down the stairs with him. I was still amiable to the idea, and I agreed. We went down to the first landing and stopped. I suddenly felt very uneasy, and decided to leave.

Shawn said, no, stay here.

“You can,” I said, “but I’m going.”

And so I did. As I walked back out, I fancied I heard a voice in my mind say “Now I’ve got rid of you, now for Shawn.’

At that moment, Shawn claimed he suddenly felt weak in the legs and he nearly passed out.  He did not look good when he came back through the doors a minute later. The urge to return still was present, so I decided to just leave the dorm.

The thing about that thought in my mind made, in hindsight, no sense. If, whatever it was didn’t want me there, then why compel me? Did it just want just one of there alone? Did it want me or Shawn or both? Did I just think it to myself?

The only reason I mentioned it was because of the fact of what  happened to Shawn at the same moment I heard it.

That’s the thing about thoughts in your mind. Some of them do come from you, even if you’re not consciously thinking them. Some of them do appear to be from other sources, too, but I’ve have my fair share of random thoughts that lead nowhere, and I’ve certainly have my fair share of thoughts that later proved to be true.

Of all the things I experience, I’d say the thoughts in your mind are the ones that need to be the most scrutinized. Never accept them on faith that they are from another source, but on the other hand, don’t just dismiss them either.

Next: Mirror mirror.

Empath Series – Psychic attacks. More ways to ward off attacks or should I pay for help?

This picture depicts the seven major Chakras w...

Psychic defense. Final thoughts.


One of the things I’ve noticed with people who are under psychic attack is that their chakras (the body’s energy centres) are way too open.

When a chakra is in that state, too much energy flows in and it can be overwhelming. The high level empath will often be vulnerable because their third eye will be over active and I believe our empathic powers come from that chakra.

You can balance your chakras, and adjust them by visualizing a lotus flower turning anti-clockwise with the petals closing.

I won’t get into the details here, but there are website that are dedicated to how to do this, complete with what colours to use, and what sounds resonate with the chakras.


Burning white sage is said to be very effective at clearing negative energies. This is called smudging, and can be used to clear a house or your aura.

Paying psychics for protection.

I’m sure there are plenty of people and so called psychics that will tell you that you are under a curse or under attack, and they will happily remove it… for a price.  Beware of those people. They will happily milk you of your hard earned money without producing any real results.

Never pay anyone to protect you from a psychic attack or remove an evil spell from you!. Those who do it for money are unlikely to have the power to help in the first place and more likely than not, have not even picked up on if you really are under attack. It may be just a lucky guess!

I remember once I visited L.A. and out of interest, I visited this psychic lady who advertised on the street. She told me people at work were plotting against me, and if I had faith and trust in her, we could work together and overcome it. I nodded in agreement while thinking, if she’s that good, you’d think she’d know I’m only here for the day. She was clearly a con artist trying to draw me in by methods of fear. In all probability, the work place will contain people who give you trouble so it’s a high chance of success of them guessing right.

Even if they are genuine, I believe that it’s not actually the money that reduces your vibrations or ability to heal, but your intentions and ego. If your intention is to make money, then so shall it be, but normally at the cost of your ability to heal. If your intention is to heal, then so you shall, but you might not automatically make money. It very much depends on what your attitude is towards money. Is it something ‘bad’ or is it simply a tool to help get what you desire? (check your belief system on that subject.)

There are also psychics who are actually very good at what they do, but then, ego takes over, especially when they have great success to start with. They make the mistake of believing they are somehow better than others, and jealousy, and elitism may also come into play. They may also become vulnerable to negative entities, who then can mess with their results.

I don’t have a lot of good things to say about psychic healers. Yes, there are some out there which can indeed heal, and there are some out there who are very psychic and do have powers. My experience has been that despite their obvious powers, many of them forget they are just a channel for healing and ego and false humility sets in. Also be wary of those who call themselves ‘Master’. ‘Master is a term of separation and I believe a true Master will be humble and will not refer to himself as such, or let others call him that title.

The same goes for those who are self-proclaimed prophets. (And yet, seem to have turned that into a business.)


There is a school of thought (which I subscribe to) that says that nothing can happen to us unless we agree to participate on some level. If you believe in this, then this means that you have agreed to the attack. The reasons why may be as simple as that these attacks make your stronger, help you to experience who you are and to grow as a person and soul.

More importantly, they can help reveal your weak points, and lead you down paths that you would never have gone down without those attacks.

I know, I certainly wouldn’t be where I am if my life had been attack free.

Psychic attacks can be a real pain, and can really bring a life to a complete stop, and perhaps even destroy it. Never give into the temptation to fight back, and try and avoid being a victim, as that just adds to the problems.

Remember, there are many ways to deal with them that are gentle and safe.

Ask for help. It will come. And when it does, make sure you listen, and take it. 

Empath Series – Psychic attacks – Other ways to protect yourself or how new age of you.

Anahata chakra symbolizes the consciousness of...

There are a number of ways you can balk psychic attacks, though they have varying success rates.


Bach Flower Remedies:

For stopping psychic attacks, this is my one stop shop. If you can identify where the attack is targeting, then taking the appropriate remedy will stop it.

The usual culprits are guilt, self-doubt, known fears, lack of faith, being overwhelmed, and, I guess, any of the 38 states of being.

Details on this will be covered at a future date or you can check out details on my website


It is claimed that crystals can help ward of attacks. I don’t know much about them, as it goes, but I did try using them at one point. I did not seem to gain any benefits.

I think they need to be awakened, and attuned to you in order for them to work.

Here are some crystals that are said to aid you against psychic attacks.

Carrollite: This mineral can be useful for providing grounding of each chakras; it can also facilitate the closure of the chakras, allowing for protection of the self against psychic attacks.

Chlorite: Forms of chlorite have been used with amethyst to remove unwanted energy implants; the presence of chlorite and amethyst within ones energy field has also successfully protected against both energy implants and psychic attack.

Limonite: It provides for the strength and virility of youth, enhancing the substance of ones character and providing an ‘iron hat’ for protection against detrimental thoughts, impaired clarity, and psychic attacks. It also furthers accuracy in the intuitive processes.

Ruby: It is an excellent shielding stone, protecting on all levels and safeguarding ones consciousness from psychic attack.

If you use the stones, remember to awaken, energize and connect with them.

Creating a white, luminous five pointed star. 

This star should have a point corresponding to your head, both hands and both feet. You should mentally draw it. It is said that once you are inside a five pointed star, nothing but nothing can touch you that is bad as it is an elemental of protection.

The reason it should work is that we are able to create elemental forms or thought forms just be thinking about them. Thoughts are real energy and whatever you think will add to a pool of energy. By creating these things in your mind, you really are creating something that will protect you. The more you do it, the stronger it will become.

It’s really important to note that the key to any type of shielding, including white light auras, is to create the shield with thoughts of love, peace, compassion and blessing.

This will repel anything that is unlike that energy. Keep fear and anger, etc, out of your thoughts. It will not aid you.

There is, however, a stream of thought that by creating a shield, you also attract the things that attack you. This is because you are setting intentions to be protected, so you, by default, call things to you to be protected against.

I, personally, try to drop shields, and just be the highest light I can, using who I am to try and heal what is around me.

Next: Should I pay for protection?

Empath Series – Psychic attacks – You can’t destroy fire with fire or I shall smite thee verily.

Image-1 (1)Many Light-workers consider themselves as spiritual warriors. They see the darkness, they spot the enemy, charge in with their shield and sword, strike it down, and the day is saved.

The enemy is vanquished by taking a stand and defeating the darkness, hopefully for good.

The day is saved and all is well.



In actual fact, attacking what we perceive to be evil, dark, and negative is possibly the worst thing you can do.

In fact, all you are doing is empowering and enabling those things.

It’s like fighting a fire by throwing fuel on it and then wondering why it’s growing stronger, rather than going out.

It is also the very opposite of what a Light-worker actually does and what they stand for.

You cannot change the energy of something by feeding it the same thing it feeds on. You have to introduce something else.

As mentioned, I spent a good part of my life under psychic attacks, and up to the age of 20, I was fighting a daily, but losing battle.

At the time, it didn’t really occur to me that this wasn’t normal. It was just something I just had to put up with in my everyday life.

I’ve faced down a lot of attacks over the years, but this type of attack was different to the ones that came later.

It’s hard to describe what it was like. Best I can do was that it was an overwhelming, clawing sensation in my mind. The pain was more mental and psychic, than physical, but it was there, it was strong, and it was unmistakable. I felt that if I gave in, I would lose myself, or possibly go mad. (It was only many, many years later that I understood what was actually going on there.)

I didn’t tell many people about it, but those I did pretty much told me that it was the devil trying to take my soul, and that I needed to resist and ask God for help.

It was actually pretty useless advice, because it only helped in the moment, and the moment I took my focus away from asking for help, the attacks would return just as strong.

But I had nothing else to go on. There was no information out there, and even those who were supposed to be psychic and knowledgeable were completely clueless.

So for many years, I was determined to beat old Satan, and I would ceaseless fight him, and attack back, while avoiding any references to his name, lest it draw him and give him power.

Needless to say, the battle did not go well.

It was a silent, private, daily battle that I was surely losing. Yet the thought of giving in or even losing was, to me, unthinkable.

Each day, little by little, the attack would become stronger and I knew something would have to give, though I did not know what would happen to me if I gave in.

Then, one day, in 1984, I was at lunch when I suddenly found myself reasoning that I had spent years fighting this thing, with no success, and it appeared that my hate and anger was making it stronger.  If that was the case, then maybe sending it love and peace would help.

So I sent out a message that whatever was attacking me could join me, as long as it was in  in peace and harmony. I also sent it thoughts of love instead of anger.

It was in that instant, the attacks ceased completely. It was as though someone had flicked a switch. They say that what you resist persists, and what you make your own disappears, and this was certainly the case here.

My life changed from that day onwards.

The biggest lesson, which I carry with me to this day, was that the only way to overcome such attacks is to not engage them and be of a higher and loving energy.

Bless them, send them love and light. Give them peaceful thoughts. Be compassionate because those who are attacking know not what they do.

Over the years, I’ve come across many attacks: Some on me and some on others. The ones on me have been more a nuisance factor than any series danger or problem. I’ve always come out of it better and stronger for it. (Though, to be fair, there were some close calls, but the answer was always given to me on how to overcome them, which may not have been the case if I had just attacked back.)

What has amazed me is that nearly every time I come across someone under attack, their method of dealing with it is to attack back, and with as much hatred and force as they can muster. They also tend to pull the ‘victim / poor me’ card, which also doesn’t help anything.

Psychic attacks do happen, and there are a number of ways to counter them, but never, EVER, attack back. Never give the source any more energy to attack you with.

Next: Other methods of protection.

Empath Series – Psychic attacks – Serendipity or cutting the mustard.

BFR MustardAs I’ve mentioned, I’ve spent much of my life under attack. There have been various reasons, which I won’t get into here, but most I have overcome, especially once I’ve tracked the source.

But for whatever reason, I’ve been under pretty strong attacks from 2009 to 2013.

My internet circle has a good deal of psychic people in it, and I’ve a couple who are dedicated to keeping me safe and as it goes, they do an excellent job of it.

However, for the first four months in 2013, the attacks had grown stronger and my exhaustion was to the point where I knew something had to shift if I was going to continue.

Whenever I’m under such attacks, my partner feels it, and she will give me the space to deal with it. Also, the more I am affected, the more of a headache she gets. I’m grateful I have someone in my life that not only understands and accepts me, but knows what to do in order to help and guide me.

As usual, when I’m feeling depression, I take the Bach Flower Remedies, and use the ones that I feel will bring some relief.

They do help, but unless you hit the cause of the feelings, the relief is only temporary.  (which is one the main reasons I say they are not a placebo.)

I’m pretty excellent with the remedies, and I can tell you which remedy does what, but there has always been a couple that eluded me on what they did exactly.  So I never took them.

The problem with the remedies is that while they are amazing, and do work, not everything is known about them, and I believe that many of the discoveries I’ve made in regards to them were made first by me.

Mustard happens to be one of those remedies that I really never understood. Its official use is for deep gloom of unknown origins. However, several remedies also deal with such things. My guide did mention it was to protect against areas of negative energies, but I never looked into it much further than that.

In April 2013, I had finally reached the point where I was fed up with feeling drained, depressed and full of doubt.

I decided to pick up Mimulus (for known fears) when I accidentally picked up Mustard instead. (They are next to each other.)

As I picked it up, I thought: Well why not?

I took two drops directly on my tongue, and felt an immediate lightening of my moods and fatigue. The remedy also tingled like crazy. (The more you need the remedy, the more it will tingle.)

I walked up to my partner and asked her if she sensed any change in me. She said she felt a lightening of her headache.

I took some more and noticed something shift in my body. It was as though some seed or hook was removed (which may have been a hitch-hiker). A minute later, my partner said the headache was gone.

As mentioned, Mustard is said to be the remedy for gloom. I’ve looked it up, but there is not much that elaborates on that.

I feel pretty safe in saying that Mustard is the remedy to stop psychic attacks and coupled with Walnut (the link breaker), it is quite potent.

My exhaustion lifted that night, and has not returned. I’ve felt confident, strong and full of light.

I also feel pretty safe in saying that this is a really important discovery for Empaths as they are very vulnerable to such attacks, especially those who class themselves as Light-workers.

Next: Other ways to protect yourself.

Empath Series – Psychic attacks – Signs of my own attack or I really should consider another gig.

sad facePsychic attacks: Attacks by either people, or entities. Do they really exist?

For those who haven’t actually experienced them, I would not blame you for thinking that I’ve been watching too many horror movies. (I actually don’t enjoy watching them so I don’t.)

But until you’ve been under one, and then identified it as such, and then found a way to block it, it’s hard to even fathom that such a thing can exist, or be real.

Having said that: Like psychic attacks, Empaths are real, and they fall into the same type of category.

Personally, I’ve a very long history in regards to psychic attacks. I’ve had experts try to take me out, and yes, I know how deluded that sounds. (Mind you, those same experts will certainly verify what I just said; especially one I know reads this blog.)

To go into that story would take a book, and it’s not relevant to this particular blog. Suffice to say, I have plenty of experience in regards to such things, and what to do, and how to counter it. I’ve also done some curse breaking, though that is often a tricky business.

The past three years of my life have had their fair share of attacks on me. (Or moments of opportunity, as I prefer to call them, but then no one would know what the heck I was talking about.)

As I’ve mentioned before, I’ve experienced most types of depression, and while I can’t say I enjoyed any of it, it did give me deep insights into the causes, and what I needed to do to heal from it.

People might wonder, though, do I still get depressed?

The answer is, yes, I do, and it is exhausting. Life and being an Empath will do that to you. I also can come out of it just as quickly, especially as I know what I need to do.

However, there was one type of depression I was not having any luck with these past years, and that was a sense of hopelessness, coupled with spiritual and mental exhaustion.

I experienced the following signs: (as detailed in the previous entries.)

  • Things going wrong in clumps.

This means that too many things went wrong, including things that should not go wrong, or were dumped into my lap and made my problem, all at the same time. Too many things that would be against the law of probability. Then suddenly it clears… until the next time.

On a side note, the number triple six always comes up several times in a row just before such events occur. It has been doing that for around 25 years. And no, I am not religious or follow The Bible.

  • Thoughts being whispered into my mind.

These are more like negative feelings, such as: What is the point? Your partner will leave you. You’re not making a difference. And similar wonderful things being sent to my mind. At its worst, (and I’ve had this happen back in 1993), the thoughts try to convince me that everyone would be better off without me, and I should just throw myself under a train. A case is built that sounds reasonable, seductive and a poor me / victim mode kicks in where I sit there stewing and feeling sorry for myself.

Still, I’m a stubborn and tenacious bastard, so I don’t

  • Feeling drained and exhausted all the time.

This is actually the worst one. When my fatigue level gets too high, and I don’t get enough sleep, I will start to go into meltdown mode and even if I do get enough sleep, I can feel a distinct drain on my energy, as though the life and optimism is being sucked right out of me.

That was the one I struggled with on a constant basis for the past three years and it’s also something that many people describe when they are feeling depressed.

  • Interruptions whenever I was working on a project or something that I am doing to help others.

I was reminded of this one because that’s exactly what just happened. Someone will draw my attention away from what I’m doing, thereby delaying or stopping my stream of thought. This particular series seems to have had it come up a number of times now.

  • Seeing darkness or fog around me, or others.

If I stare from my third eye (the area above your eyes), I will sometimes see the room around me dim, or even fade to black.

If I use the same technique on someone who is under attack, their face will literally become hidden behind a black cloud. Until you see such a thing, it’s hard to imagine it. Still, I know I’m not the only one who has observed this.

My ex-partner, back in 2000 saw the exact same thing around her daughter’s face. What was interesting was that I did not mention that I had seen it, too.

Her daughter was under an attack, and cleared it by sending light to the darkness.

I’ve observed this quite a number of times, and every time I send light to that person, they will, without fail, suddenly get up a few minutes later, feeling much chipper and much better.

If the room goes dark, it’s generally because something negative is there.

Recently, while I was at work, I started seeing a white fog before my eyes. That was a new one. It didn’t feel good, though.

  • Sighing a lot and feeling a sense of despondence.

I would get this a lot, especially when I’m working on something like this. It’s a feeling that something does not want me to complete a project. At its worst, I get a sense of hopelessness, and it’s very difficult to fight it.

The thing about psychic attacks are that they attack you are your weakest point. They will home in on your guilt, your doubts, your fears and anything else that you have not resolved.

That is why I call them opportunities, because they reveal what your weaknesses are and allow you to deal with them.

Next: Mustard – the wondrous remedy against attacks.