The angel years.
through i've had many lives on earth, i've also had lives off earth. the void of light that consumed me before my first experience on the earth realms were very clouded by the fact that some 10 thousand years had passed. Each time i have lived in a new body the past has a way of slowly disappearing along with the small memories that held little importance. though memories fade i have held onto a name that seemed very important to me however it held many other concenquences. The name i was given was and always was Ecclasia which i understand that the spelling of this is wrong by todays standards yet i do have the spelling correct for my name. This name was aslo confirmed by a few arch angels by the name of Urial, Raphael, Michael as well as Rogael. This has been a pretense of my journey of discovery.
Angels has been present in all my lives so i had to set the intention to learn all i could about them. While many feel the hierarchy is thus recorded in the bible it does not hold all there is as well as i remember the statuses of angelics are way different than most believe.
As an angel none of us had free will, which seems cruel by human standards but was necessary for their roles and jobs. If an angel was to have free will they would be able to choose to do their job or not. This would leave many holes in the scheme of things.
Once an angel choose free will they would fall from grace and their light because that would mean they could no longer do their job effectively. Once we leave the light we loose our energy that fed us and we would fall into depression until we find a way to feed ourselves with light.
My experience as part of this light was dull to say the least. I didn't have to worry about anything because there was no worry, no sadness, joy was bathing in light which was joy yet joy without understanding of what joy was. This was why i had so much trouble with understanding emotions even though i could feel them and have them myself. They seemed dull yet overwhelming at the same time.
Living in the light was and will always be where i want to be. I have my duty, yet i can choose to do it now, even though i do it anyway. many times i have recited that old addage "duty before self", it has been my mantra though i know even before i came to be human i wanted to stick to that. It may seem harsh to an outsider yet it makes perfect sense to me.
We live in bondage yet not knowing that keeps order on the reasons the light bore angels in the first place. It is for us to keep the dark at bay not destroy it, as well as aid others selflessly. This does not mean we will help if the help is against the grand design, thus why free will should not have been given so loosely to those who could upset the balance of this universe.